9 Habits That Are Making My 40s My Favorite Decade
"Am I good at them? No. Do I do them anyway? Yes."
Hi, how are you? Hope you’re having a good week!
First up: we’re excited to announce our first Big Salad & Friends live stream. Please join
and me on the Substack app this Tuesday at 12 p.m. EST. We’ll be chatting about how we make NYC feel like a small town — including insider tips — and I’m sure we’ll talk about a million other things, too.
This first live stream is for all subscribers, both free and paid. If you have any topics you’d like us to discuss, please leave them in the comments below. Can’t wait.
So…what has been your favorite age so far? I love being in my 40s, and in part I think it’s because I’ve gotten into nine everyday habits, which feel weirdly life-changing. Inspired by this post, here are life “rules” I follow, and I’d love to hear yours…
Tell people you love them all the time. When I was younger, I adored my friends and neighbors and colleagues, but never told them directly. So awkward! So vulnerable! Thankfully, over the years, I’ve gotten more comfortable expressing affection. Now I always tell close friends “I love you” before hanging up the phone. I make sure my colleagues know how grateful I am. I took a deep breath and Freddie I loved him first. I learned so much, by example, from my friend Gemma: “When I’m affectionate, it makes people, including myself, feel good,” she told me. “I don’t expect everyone to say it back. It’s not a tennis game; you have to be okay just lobbing it over.”
Always have a good book going. I’ve realized that my life feels richer when I’m into a book (bonus: a good show, too). Don’t you love looking forward to climbing into bed at night with your novel? Two I’ve enjoyed recently are The Storm We Made and Rental House — and please share your book recs in the comments!
Unfollow Instagram feeds that make you envious. Many years ago, I was following a mom on Instagram who was traveling the world with her many children; meanwhile, I was working in snowy NYC, slogging through a depression, and desperately wanting another baby. Her feed plagued me; as much as I tried, I could not stop comparing that chapter of my life to hers and feeling like I was failing. My solution was not to spend a year traveling the world or birth a few more kids — I wasn’t able to do those things anyway — it was simply to…stop following her. With a forehead slap, I realized that if you stop following something, you stop thinking about it, almost like it never existed. Bottom line: JUST DISAPPEAR IT lol.
