I Told Freddie I Loved Him and Here's What He Said Back

Welcome to our third Ask Me Anything issue...

Hello! We’re excited to share our third Ask Me Anything issue.

We received hundreds of great questions, and many readers asked about two specific topics: ’how do you make friends as an adult?’ and ‘how do you know if you should get divorced?’ Since they’re such big questions, we’re going to answer them in two separate Big Salad newsletter issues, coming up soon. Please stay tuned.

Okay, ready? Here goes…

Three must-have capsule wardrobe items? — Elizabeth

1. Sézane grey jeans are comfy and fit so well.

2. Le Bon Shoppe white tees, I wear them all winter and all summer.

3. Babaà no 51 sweater. The wide neck feels very cool, and I always pack it for trips. (Fyi, we’ll be sharing our annual Babaà discount code on Cup of Jo this March.)

What should I message a guy once there’s a match?! I need an opening line. — Laura

Dating is such a wild ride. Here’s something that, for me, made it feel a bit easier:

When I first signed up for Hinge, I tried to be clever and flirty. I wrote to this guy, “Here’s a three-question quiz that must be answered in 48 hours or it will self-destruct.” He wrote back and apologized that he was doing a sort of dating reset and that he wasn’t up for “snappy quizzes at the moment” but would be “open for authentic dialogue and commiseration.” I felt sort of dumb!

His reply did help me shift gears, though; I realized I could just write to people very genuinely, and that took the pressure off. (He and I also ended up texting more, too, and he was really nice.) With new guys, I’d ask about a movie they’d mentioned in their profile, or how old their kids were, or what they were up to that weekend… any question to start a straightforward conversation. You don’t have to be witty.

This makes me think of Lisa Rubisch’s society anxiety trick: Before going to parties, she tells herself, “just be curious and kind,” and she immediately feels more comfortable. Thoughts? Curious to hear from others.

What bag do you carry? — Patricia

Currently this Celine trio crossbody bag from eBay, but my sister said it looked like it mutated and now I can’t unsee it.

Have you said ‘I love you’ to Freddie yet? — Melissa