How Do You Know If It's Time to Get Divorced?

11 women share how they realized that divorce was the right path...

Hello! How is your week going? Today’s issue is a big one (as always, please feel free to forward to friends you think may enjoy it).

For our most recent Ask Me Anything issue, we received countless versions of this divorce question from readers:

“How do you know when it's time to divorce? It seems like couples therapy and arguing could just go on forever.”

“How do you know when it's time to leave a marriage? I feel different week to week, but the unsettled feeling of wanting to leave is always there.”

“How did you know your marriage was truly over? Was there a moment when you felt confident divorce was the best course of action?”

I remember asking myself the same question. For a long time, I felt very confused about whether our marriage should end. I was unhappy in our partnership, but I had loved him deeply for years, so could we get back there? Didn’t all marriages go through tough patches? The long stretch of not-sure-ness was very, very hard and disorienting.

Of course, sometimes there are big reasons one might end a marriage — for example, infidelity or abuse — but what about when there isn’t one specific moment to point to?