As someone who went to grad school and changed careers in their 30s I will add this to that convo - don’t think of it as starting over. You’re not. So many things that had happened in my life before career change boosted me up and helped me on my way. Also if you get tripped up thinking about the sacrifice of going back to school or getting more education, I think about it like this — is it worth it to trade 2 years to work 20-30 years at a job that’s more fulfilling?
YES! I always say that everything I've done has led me to this point. I utilize skills from my old career (teaching) into my new career (chaplaincy) all the time! Also, I felt like I was way more invested in my graduate degree as a second-career person. I came into my new career with a lot of hard-won wisdom!
I so needed to read this today, Elizabeth, thank you for sharing. I’m in the thick of a big transition that’s feeling nebulous, and sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger picture.
I'm with Samantha, also injecting Heated Rivalry into my veins. The yearning! The beautiful men! The supportive women in their lives! The soundtrack! The sex! I'm all over it! It is some wonderful drug that can reset my brain to happiness. I can focus on it, deeply, and give myself a break from parenting while the world falls apart, and feel recharged to do it all over again.
That essay made me laugh so much! What can I say? As a Philosophy professor with a PhD, a child and a beloved husband I am sooo into Heated Rivalry. What does it do for me? The consent, the non toxic masculinity, the greek god likes bodies of course, the lovely parents and friend and the pure characters of Kip and Shane. But also: it is about love and nothing else. And in this heavy dark winter, it is so soothing. Love from Paris
Is anyone else here also reading Strangers by Belle Burden? I can’t put it down, and am absolutely floored by her grace and vulnerability (and also wishing I could scream at her ex).
yes yes yes - read it over the weekend and couldn't put it down. it made me want to read another book dissecting the ex and what goes on inside his head and heart. and I hope those three children turn out well and are able to have rewarding relationships: their father's example is so damaging.
I listened to the audiobook (narrated by the author) and really really loved it. Such an intricate, immersive story - her memory and eye for detail are astounding, and the writing is beautiful.
Thank you Christen! I am doing much better, thank you! But it's incredibly powerful and resonant to read something so similar. These books are important and helpful and I am so grateful she wrote it because it helps us feel less alone. And in situations like this, that often feel so isolating and stigmatizing that is no small thing.
YES!! I need a book club so badly for this and have already gone down multiple reddit holes trying to satisfy my hunger to discuss with someone. She is such a fantastic writer and brave soul and I feel so proud of her for working to break the cycle of women swallowing men's bad behavior. What an ultimate F you to the husband (albeit a graceful, dignified one) that her book is on the NYT bestseller list and wildly successful . I listened to her interview with Zibby on Totally Booked and she seemed to imply that for legal reasons she had to be very careful about what she put in the book and what she left out...I wonder what was omitted!
I also dove deep into a few Reddit holes and still have so many unanswered questions! I just can’t believe how much forgiveness, acceptance and grace she showed him in the end, it was more than he deserved.
CoJ has been such an emotional life-saver this week. The immense support for MN and Jo's breakup feels like warm blanket and has kept me from sliding into a dark hole.
Wow! My quote being read by Jo AND put in the newsletter made my week. I tried to explain to my husband but I don’t think he quite got it. Thanks for being a bright spot in a lot of darkness.
As someone who went to grad school and changed careers in their 30s I will add this to that convo - don’t think of it as starting over. You’re not. So many things that had happened in my life before career change boosted me up and helped me on my way. Also if you get tripped up thinking about the sacrifice of going back to school or getting more education, I think about it like this — is it worth it to trade 2 years to work 20-30 years at a job that’s more fulfilling?
I love this perspective!! Thank you, Elizabeth!!
I’m the Kate from the newsletter and I love this perspective! Thank you!
YES! I always say that everything I've done has led me to this point. I utilize skills from my old career (teaching) into my new career (chaplaincy) all the time! Also, I felt like I was way more invested in my graduate degree as a second-career person. I came into my new career with a lot of hard-won wisdom!
I so needed to read this today, Elizabeth, thank you for sharing. I’m in the thick of a big transition that’s feeling nebulous, and sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger picture.
I'm with Samantha, also injecting Heated Rivalry into my veins. The yearning! The beautiful men! The supportive women in their lives! The soundtrack! The sex! I'm all over it! It is some wonderful drug that can reset my brain to happiness. I can focus on it, deeply, and give myself a break from parenting while the world falls apart, and feel recharged to do it all over again.
Also enjoying it (the book) immensely and can't wait to watch too!
That essay made me laugh so much! What can I say? As a Philosophy professor with a PhD, a child and a beloved husband I am sooo into Heated Rivalry. What does it do for me? The consent, the non toxic masculinity, the greek god likes bodies of course, the lovely parents and friend and the pure characters of Kip and Shane. But also: it is about love and nothing else. And in this heavy dark winter, it is so soothing. Love from Paris
Cup of Jo is always a bright spot in my day. Sending love to everyone right now.
Is anyone else here also reading Strangers by Belle Burden? I can’t put it down, and am absolutely floored by her grace and vulnerability (and also wishing I could scream at her ex).
just got a copy!! cannot wait.
Buckle up, it’s a wild ride!
I just finished it and have never been so enraged by a person as I was by her ex-husband!
Read it within 24 hours. Literally couldn’t put it down. An incredible book.
I’m SO excited for you!
yes yes yes - read it over the weekend and couldn't put it down. it made me want to read another book dissecting the ex and what goes on inside his head and heart. and I hope those three children turn out well and are able to have rewarding relationships: their father's example is so damaging.
Same!
I listened to the audiobook (narrated by the author) and really really loved it. Such an intricate, immersive story - her memory and eye for detail are astounding, and the writing is beautiful.
basically read it in two sittings, i was captivated in large part because of how much her story mirrors my own. gotta get to work on my memoir!
Oh wow, I’m sorry you went through something similar. I hope you’re out on the other side and doing ok ❤️
Thank you Christen! I am doing much better, thank you! But it's incredibly powerful and resonant to read something so similar. These books are important and helpful and I am so grateful she wrote it because it helps us feel less alone. And in situations like this, that often feel so isolating and stigmatizing that is no small thing.
I just ordered it off ThriftBooks.com for 9.99 and feel like I won the lottery!! Can't wait to read it!!
YES!! I need a book club so badly for this and have already gone down multiple reddit holes trying to satisfy my hunger to discuss with someone. She is such a fantastic writer and brave soul and I feel so proud of her for working to break the cycle of women swallowing men's bad behavior. What an ultimate F you to the husband (albeit a graceful, dignified one) that her book is on the NYT bestseller list and wildly successful . I listened to her interview with Zibby on Totally Booked and she seemed to imply that for legal reasons she had to be very careful about what she put in the book and what she left out...I wonder what was omitted!
I also dove deep into a few Reddit holes and still have so many unanswered questions! I just can’t believe how much forgiveness, acceptance and grace she showed him in the end, it was more than he deserved.
Reading it right this second!
CoJ has been such an emotional life-saver this week. The immense support for MN and Jo's breakup feels like warm blanket and has kept me from sliding into a dark hole.
I'm so glad Jeanne. sending love xoxoxoxo
Wow! My quote being read by Jo AND put in the newsletter made my week. I tried to explain to my husband but I don’t think he quite got it. Thanks for being a bright spot in a lot of darkness.
YES to azelaic acid! One of my faves for hormonal acne/sensitive skin!
Cannot wait to read about dating app realizations. I have a feeling I’ll be nodding along as I read them.
I truly believe we’re at a huge turning point for women, particularly if you are 40+, and financially and emotionally secure.