Joanna! PLEASE write a post teaching us all what your “fighting fair looks like”! If it’s good enough for Freddie, imagine the impact on the rest of us!!! 🙏♥️
Thanks for the feedback! Yes this post was sponsored by Mack Weldon, a brand we love. We are able to send more free (non-paywalled) Big Salad issues because of their support. They’ve been really great to work with. We will try next time to make it feel less sponsored and more editorial; I get it! Thank you, Jeanne!
Agree — something felt very bait and switch-y here, which isn’t typical for CoJ and Big Salad! I was excited to read a quick warm and cozy thing (that I pay for) before bed, and then all of a sudden, more internet ads!
I am the kind of person who has to read all fifty snow cone flavors before hemming and hawing and inevitably regretting the one I choose, but my husband always orders the first thing he reads that sounds good. I’ve learned about the delight found in caring less about “the best” of something, and he’s learned that a lot more food exists than what’s printed at the top of the menu!
Eilidh, have you ever heard the theory of how there are two types of people: maximizers and satisficers? You and your husband seem to each be one — and are teaching each other to live in the easy yet delicious middle ground!
I always admire how well you are able to take feedback without getting defensive. This is such a lovely humble characteristic of you and so rare to find these days! One could say this is something you’ve taught me but I’m still very much in the learning phase 😜
I work in media and have gotten so tired of seeing people on social media complain about paywalls. Yes - someone has to get paid to create the content you want to read. Same vibes here. Jo employs several people, she is contending with AI and social media chipping away at ad revenue. I appreciate she is at least trying to make an ad fun and thoughtful! There’s so much else to complain about - this is a good place to be generous. Unless you’re also complaining because you don’t believe your favorite podcast hosts are that obsessed with side sleeping pillows.
I think maybe saying from the start that this is a sponsored edition could help shift expectations?
I know from experience I prefer reading an ad from Joanna than an editorial piece by most people, so I think making it known from the start would take the bitter flavour away from finding out towards the end, and a lot of people would still read anyway (or come for the comments).
Totally understand — I fell asleep yesterday thinking about ideas for how to structure a future post like this differently and look forward to trying them out :) Thank you as always for the feedback! Xo
1. I like the idea of putting a "this post is sponsored by" at the top of the issue for full transparency
2. in addition to BS, I subscribe to Morning Person, who does not do any sponsorships or affiliate links with the idea that it's a paid newsletter, so you're exchanging money for not having to see ads. I am more than willing to read and support spon con when I'm reading for free, but it does feel extra icky when I'm paying for a newsletter and still have to see sponsored content. Is this issue available to all readers, since it was sponsored?
Thanks for being so open and gracious with feedback!
Good question, Sarah! Yes, this issue was available to all readers, and the partnership with Mack Weldon has allowed us to send a few more issues without a paywall. We also now have extra budget to do an original photo shoot for a house tour or street style or City Hall weddings. Thank you for asking!
Another Jeanne also agreeing with you. The constantly evolving business model is so hard nowadays. There's just no rest. I find it easy to skip over sponsored ads. This edition didn't rub me the wrong way as much as it did for others. Maybe because 1) I'm still getting fun content. Omg Freddy mentioning fighting fairly was lovely and also made my heart hurt for him a widdle bit. 2) I still receive a full Big Salad write up on Friday so this is just a mini bonus for me. 3) I'm still looking for gift ideas 4) More comments to read!
Joe taught me to truly appreciate companionable silence. Words waft off of me like squiggle-lines of stink from a comic-strip character, and while wild language can be invigorating, it can also be exhausting. In sharing a life with him I've learned to love rather than fear lacunae.
I was just looking for elevated men's basics for an upcoming trip - mostly for my 16 year old son who is 6 foot 2 and an athlete - I appreciated this deep dive into the brand and what works for Freddie (who is the cutest!)
I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts here. As a person who also works in the sponsored content space, I'm always curious about how to make sponsored content more palatable to readers. I came to read this post because I saw it tagged on Instagram, fully knowing it was sponsored, because I'm a devoted reader of this platform and am always excited for updates. I don't mind reading sponsored content, especially when it's thoughtful and well-written, but maybe I know what to look for so I don't find it jarring, just because it's line of work. FWIW, I like the sponsorship being for a men's product, as I shop for several men around this time of year, and we don't see a lot of those products here. I am also scoping out a half-zip for myself for a cozy oversized vibe.
I do want to add that one of the features we get access to when we pay for Big Salad is the wonderful, unfiltered conversations like the one we're having right now, both about what we have learned from our partners as well as what makes sponsored content meaningful or need more cues to indicate to readers that it's sponsored! One of the reasons I love this newsletter and community so much is for the wide-ranging, respectful conversations, and I'm happy to participate in both topics, even if that wasn't the original intention of the post.
On the partner front, I have also learned about how to make fighting more fair! We joke that I taught my husband how to be angry and he taught me how not to be, but there's some level of truth to that. I have learned from him how to communicate better when I'm angry (screaming really doesn't ever change hearts and minds), but I think he's learned from me that it's okay to be angry and to share unedited thoughts while you're processing. I can handle the early drafts of his ideas before they're polished and ready for arguing. And I can also lower my voice even if I'm feeling passionate. :)
And finally, (sorry, this comment is SO very long but just one more idea): Joanna, would you consider doing a CoJ outfits post with Kate Baer's book tour outfits? They have been absolutely STUNNING. I check her insta every night to see what she wore!
When my husband and I started dating 15 years ago, I warned him, "Don't expect me to ride a bike!" This was significant--bikes and riding (mountain, road, whatever) were his greatest joy! I'd only sort of learned to ride a bike as a kid and was terrified. I could stay up on a bike but couldn't stop well, turn, or stay up if I was going slow lol. However, he very patiently taught me to really ride. We used to ride all over Pasadena when we lived there, and we've gone on bike tours in cities like Buenos Aires and New Orleans. And now when we ride our bikes around the neighborhood with our 9-year-old daughter, I can't help but feel proud of myself, and thankful for him. :)
(And what did I teach him? To love reading!! And also when he's agonizing about what to order at a restaurant, he's finally internalized what I always say to him: "Just pick something. This isn't the last time you'll ever have dinner.")
I too found the clothing ad very off-putting. I mean just come out and say it, don't pussyfoot around the issue by telling us how much Freddie likes his free clothes (of course he does!) and how the clothing company is so wonderful. These endorsements would mean something if you weren't getting paid for them. And since I pay for your content, I resent the hard sell.
As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I appreciated the meme so much! Laughter can be the best medicine and I had to go back to it after reading some of the anxiety inducing comments criticizing this post. 😔
I love the theme of this post but if something is sponsored or an ad I wish you would just say so! I hate trying to fit buying clothes into something about partnership and love it feels gross
My husband of 17 years taught me his native language ( by refusing to speak English with me) and I taught him, the most patient human ever to be born, to be impatient 🤪😭
My husband and I have been dating/married for 22 years! He’s 43 and I’m 42, so really half our lives! In our early days he taught me about cool
music (he was in a club in college that put on shows for our university). I honestly don’t know what I taught him back then! (He was an engineer, I was a psych major 😆). But as we’ve grown, he’s continued to teach me about cool music and how to renovate our house. I like to think I’ve taught him about taking care of babies, learning to love books (as a librarian), learning to accept people as doing the best they can/ people are people (as a former social worker) and getting him to switch political parties a long time ago. As we keep getting older, I think we keep learning from each other, me learning financial everything 😆, him learning the importance of exercise, me learning to RELAX (I try), him learning to cook, etc etc. fun topic to think about!
1. Take the time to do it right and future you will be grateful. I’m a “good enough” person and I don’t possess much patience. However, my husband said that I taught him that you don’t always have to strive for perfection.
2. How to say NO. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation and it’s important to take time for yourself.
My husband also said that I’ve taught him to appreciate the small things. He tends to be an “all or nothing” person, where if something isn’t incredibly amazing, then it’s just bad. I’ve helped him see the good.
Joanna! PLEASE write a post teaching us all what your “fighting fair looks like”! If it’s good enough for Freddie, imagine the impact on the rest of us!!! 🙏♥️
Ooh I’d love to! I’ve learned so much about this over the years, and I’d love to hear what others think too.
I'd also like to see this post! ❤️
I very much second this - I'd love a post on fighting fair!
Me too!
Oof, that felt like the writing was just a lead up to an ad. "We both especially like..." and then all the pictures. I dunno...
Thanks for the feedback! Yes this post was sponsored by Mack Weldon, a brand we love. We are able to send more free (non-paywalled) Big Salad issues because of their support. They’ve been really great to work with. We will try next time to make it feel less sponsored and more editorial; I get it! Thank you, Jeanne!
As usual, Joanna receiving feedback in a gracious, thoughtful way. Love COJ so much, keep up the good work!
Agree — something felt very bait and switch-y here, which isn’t typical for CoJ and Big Salad! I was excited to read a quick warm and cozy thing (that I pay for) before bed, and then all of a sudden, more internet ads!
I am the kind of person who has to read all fifty snow cone flavors before hemming and hawing and inevitably regretting the one I choose, but my husband always orders the first thing he reads that sounds good. I’ve learned about the delight found in caring less about “the best” of something, and he’s learned that a lot more food exists than what’s printed at the top of the menu!
Eilidh, have you ever heard the theory of how there are two types of people: maximizers and satisficers? You and your husband seem to each be one — and are teaching each other to live in the easy yet delicious middle ground!
My sweet satisficer! Hahaa
I always admire how well you are able to take feedback without getting defensive. This is such a lovely humble characteristic of you and so rare to find these days! One could say this is something you’ve taught me but I’m still very much in the learning phase 😜
I agree. Is everything an advertisement? I guess Freddy learned to like sponsored content.
I felt the same way, Jeanne. It was like an unexpected plot twist in a book.
I work in media and have gotten so tired of seeing people on social media complain about paywalls. Yes - someone has to get paid to create the content you want to read. Same vibes here. Jo employs several people, she is contending with AI and social media chipping away at ad revenue. I appreciate she is at least trying to make an ad fun and thoughtful! There’s so much else to complain about - this is a good place to be generous. Unless you’re also complaining because you don’t believe your favorite podcast hosts are that obsessed with side sleeping pillows.
I agree with all of this.
I think maybe saying from the start that this is a sponsored edition could help shift expectations?
I know from experience I prefer reading an ad from Joanna than an editorial piece by most people, so I think making it known from the start would take the bitter flavour away from finding out towards the end, and a lot of people would still read anyway (or come for the comments).
Totally understand — I fell asleep yesterday thinking about ideas for how to structure a future post like this differently and look forward to trying them out :) Thank you as always for the feedback! Xo
Chiming in here to say two things:
1. I like the idea of putting a "this post is sponsored by" at the top of the issue for full transparency
2. in addition to BS, I subscribe to Morning Person, who does not do any sponsorships or affiliate links with the idea that it's a paid newsletter, so you're exchanging money for not having to see ads. I am more than willing to read and support spon con when I'm reading for free, but it does feel extra icky when I'm paying for a newsletter and still have to see sponsored content. Is this issue available to all readers, since it was sponsored?
Thanks for being so open and gracious with feedback!
Good question, Sarah! Yes, this issue was available to all readers, and the partnership with Mack Weldon has allowed us to send a few more issues without a paywall. We also now have extra budget to do an original photo shoot for a house tour or street style or City Hall weddings. Thank you for asking!
Another Jeanne also agreeing with you. The constantly evolving business model is so hard nowadays. There's just no rest. I find it easy to skip over sponsored ads. This edition didn't rub me the wrong way as much as it did for others. Maybe because 1) I'm still getting fun content. Omg Freddy mentioning fighting fairly was lovely and also made my heart hurt for him a widdle bit. 2) I still receive a full Big Salad write up on Friday so this is just a mini bonus for me. 3) I'm still looking for gift ideas 4) More comments to read!
Joe taught me to truly appreciate companionable silence. Words waft off of me like squiggle-lines of stink from a comic-strip character, and while wild language can be invigorating, it can also be exhausting. In sharing a life with him I've learned to love rather than fear lacunae.
Love this xo
I was just looking for elevated men's basics for an upcoming trip - mostly for my 16 year old son who is 6 foot 2 and an athlete - I appreciated this deep dive into the brand and what works for Freddie (who is the cutest!)
My husband taught me to love the Mets. I curse him forever. I taught him that there are more things in life than the Mets.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My spouse of almost 30 years! has taught me so much. I'm open to many more genres of art and music. He also helped me become more fully myself.
this is the most wonderful comment "he helped me become more fully myself" what more could any of us want?
I know how fortunate I am. Thank you!
I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts here. As a person who also works in the sponsored content space, I'm always curious about how to make sponsored content more palatable to readers. I came to read this post because I saw it tagged on Instagram, fully knowing it was sponsored, because I'm a devoted reader of this platform and am always excited for updates. I don't mind reading sponsored content, especially when it's thoughtful and well-written, but maybe I know what to look for so I don't find it jarring, just because it's line of work. FWIW, I like the sponsorship being for a men's product, as I shop for several men around this time of year, and we don't see a lot of those products here. I am also scoping out a half-zip for myself for a cozy oversized vibe.
I do want to add that one of the features we get access to when we pay for Big Salad is the wonderful, unfiltered conversations like the one we're having right now, both about what we have learned from our partners as well as what makes sponsored content meaningful or need more cues to indicate to readers that it's sponsored! One of the reasons I love this newsletter and community so much is for the wide-ranging, respectful conversations, and I'm happy to participate in both topics, even if that wasn't the original intention of the post.
On the partner front, I have also learned about how to make fighting more fair! We joke that I taught my husband how to be angry and he taught me how not to be, but there's some level of truth to that. I have learned from him how to communicate better when I'm angry (screaming really doesn't ever change hearts and minds), but I think he's learned from me that it's okay to be angry and to share unedited thoughts while you're processing. I can handle the early drafts of his ideas before they're polished and ready for arguing. And I can also lower my voice even if I'm feeling passionate. :)
And finally, (sorry, this comment is SO very long but just one more idea): Joanna, would you consider doing a CoJ outfits post with Kate Baer's book tour outfits? They have been absolutely STUNNING. I check her insta every night to see what she wore!
When my husband and I started dating 15 years ago, I warned him, "Don't expect me to ride a bike!" This was significant--bikes and riding (mountain, road, whatever) were his greatest joy! I'd only sort of learned to ride a bike as a kid and was terrified. I could stay up on a bike but couldn't stop well, turn, or stay up if I was going slow lol. However, he very patiently taught me to really ride. We used to ride all over Pasadena when we lived there, and we've gone on bike tours in cities like Buenos Aires and New Orleans. And now when we ride our bikes around the neighborhood with our 9-year-old daughter, I can't help but feel proud of myself, and thankful for him. :)
(And what did I teach him? To love reading!! And also when he's agonizing about what to order at a restaurant, he's finally internalized what I always say to him: "Just pick something. This isn't the last time you'll ever have dinner.")
I too found the clothing ad very off-putting. I mean just come out and say it, don't pussyfoot around the issue by telling us how much Freddie likes his free clothes (of course he does!) and how the clothing company is so wonderful. These endorsements would mean something if you weren't getting paid for them. And since I pay for your content, I resent the hard sell.
As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I appreciated the meme so much! Laughter can be the best medicine and I had to go back to it after reading some of the anxiety inducing comments criticizing this post. 😔
I love the theme of this post but if something is sponsored or an ad I wish you would just say so! I hate trying to fit buying clothes into something about partnership and love it feels gross
My husband of 17 years taught me his native language ( by refusing to speak English with me) and I taught him, the most patient human ever to be born, to be impatient 🤪😭
My husband and I have been dating/married for 22 years! He’s 43 and I’m 42, so really half our lives! In our early days he taught me about cool
music (he was in a club in college that put on shows for our university). I honestly don’t know what I taught him back then! (He was an engineer, I was a psych major 😆). But as we’ve grown, he’s continued to teach me about cool music and how to renovate our house. I like to think I’ve taught him about taking care of babies, learning to love books (as a librarian), learning to accept people as doing the best they can/ people are people (as a former social worker) and getting him to switch political parties a long time ago. As we keep getting older, I think we keep learning from each other, me learning financial everything 😆, him learning the importance of exercise, me learning to RELAX (I try), him learning to cook, etc etc. fun topic to think about!
What a great question!
Things I’ve learned from my husband:
1. Take the time to do it right and future you will be grateful. I’m a “good enough” person and I don’t possess much patience. However, my husband said that I taught him that you don’t always have to strive for perfection.
2. How to say NO. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation and it’s important to take time for yourself.
My husband also said that I’ve taught him to appreciate the small things. He tends to be an “all or nothing” person, where if something isn’t incredibly amazing, then it’s just bad. I’ve helped him see the good.
I honestly like Freddie more now that he did this with you 🫶🏼